All the Rowboats
by Jynxisruler13
Summary: Song fic for All the Rowboats by Regina Spektor. Hermione is charms apprentice and Severus survives the war and continues working as potions master. After Ron cheats on her what happens? Will Severus be forced into friendship with his ex student? But of course he will be!


**I own** **Nothing. This is a song-fic for All the Rowboats by Regina Spektor. I hope you enjoy and I ask that nobody post rude reviews as I don't really care if you didn't like my story.**

Hermione walked the halls of Hogwarts looking at the paintings. As she walked she realized how much she wished she could do what they did and just walk away from the life given to them and join another life, another time even. However, no matter how hard she tried her life was hers and hers alone and it would never change.

Why, you may ask was Hermione this depressed on this very day? Well the answer was simple, Ronald Weasley. She and Ron had begun a relationship after the war had ended a few months ago and things were going great, until he cheated on her for all of the world to see. She found out through the daily prophet and so had everyone else. After that he'd sent her a letter explaining things, nobody got to read the letter as she had incinerated it in front of all the patrons in the great hall.

Ever since then she had been wondering if what he'd said was true. Was she really bossy and annoying? A prude and no fun? She didn't think so, then again she did come back to Hogwarts to apprentice under Flitwick in charms as opposed to joining the Aurors and the boys in finding and capturing all the missing death eaters. Not as action filled in comparison.

That was two weeks ago and she'd been moping around the castle ever since. It wasn't, now that she thought about it, because she was in love with Ron. It was more that someone who had been her friend for 7 years had insulted her so badly and her second family had sided with him, even Harry.

The professors all looked worried about her. She saw that, their faces seemed permanently fixed in a pitying frown whenever she was around. They didn't mention Ron and walked on eggshells around her. It was beginning to annoy her and make her avoid the leaders of the school. Well almost all of them, Severus Snape didn't pity or avoid talking about Ron, for which she was glad, not that she talked to him.

 _Maybe I should. I could use a friend. Not yet though, I need to think._ She thought.

Eventually the pitying looks were getting to be too much and Hermione no longer knew what to do when, one day, Headmistress McGonagall pulled her aside.

"Miss. Granger, how are you today?"

"I'm well thank you, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm just fine. Listen I wanted to give you some advice... a lot of the younger students tend to look up to you. You're their role model and I can't fault their logic, a strong, brilliant woman like you deserves some recognition. However with the way you carry yourself nowadays I don't like the way it influences them, I was wondering how much longer you plan to be hung up on Mr. Weasley?"

"I couldn't tell you professor." Hermione gritted through her teeth. "Maybe forever and a day, or for another hour? Who knows?"

"What were you looking at these paintings for, you always seem to look at them and I'm confused as to why that is?"

"These paintings are oil correct?"

"I don't know?"

"They are, that's the only type of paint that would allow the spell that makes them move be done properly. I always wonder who painted them, or who made the spell."

"Well someone with great patience I would presume."

"I wonder what the human race would be like if we could do what they do."

"Sit on a wall for hours on end?"

"No, change their scenery any time they want, leave the place they were given and come back as often as they feel. It's a little like inter dimensional travel mixed with time travel. I wish I could try that, it would be marvelous to leave your life and join someone else's."

"Miss. Granger are you feeling okay? And why did you mention time?" McGonagall looked very confused and nervous, this was one of the signs of insanity surely.

"Time because they travel through time constantly. Not all paintings were done on the same day or even the same century. They travel through time to get to see their friends. I've talked to most of the paintings that would talk to me and they tend to agree that the way they live is much better than what they see us live through. We are constantly locked in one place and time just so we can live our lives as the gods deem fit."

"Miss. Granger, how did this come about?"

"I don't know really, it just did. Paintings give some of the best advice. If I knew it wouldn't possibly kill me I would try to join them, but alas I must wait until my time on this earth is finished." The bell to signal the end of class sounded and the halls flooded with students as the headmistress stood rooted in place and Hermione Granger walked away from her with a small smirk. She continued to walk until she reached the dungeons, a voice interrupted her before she could get lost though.

"Miss. Granger, will you ever tire of scaring the other professors in this school?" Severus Snape drawled from behind her. She turned to look at her sarcastic ex potions teacher.

"No, I don't think I will. It's their own fault; they're the ones who pity far too easily. They don't even try to hide it and I hate pity. Then again your safe, you have had years of practice not caring so you've gotten quite good at it."

"Well maybe you should stop with the Lovegood routine, it's scaring some of them and I fear they might send you to the mind healers very soon."

"Fine..." she sighed. "On one condition, you need to agree to be my friend."

"Why in Merlin's great name would I do that?"

"Maybe the fact that I'm the only one who can give you proper intellectual debates and conversations around here? If you don't want them though, that's fine to I guess."

"Unfortunately you are correct. I don't have friends on principle though so you're out of luck."

"How about an acquaintance that you spend time with and debate against on many topics in a friendly manner?"

"That's doable I guess..."

"Great!" Snape winced.

"Why do I feel I've just signed my death warrant?"

"You probably have." Hermione beamed "How about tea tomorrow in your rooms?"

"If I have to, I guess that's fine." Hermione smiled once more at his reluctance and left the dungeons and the bat that lived in them to their peace.

Hermione arrived at Severus' chambers the next night just after dinner. He let her in and led the way to the living area. Hermione's mouth dropped open at the sight that met her, floor to ceiling bookshelves that were full to the max with old tomes.

"I see you like my book collection..." Severus commented with a touch of amusement, Hermione simply nodded and walked over to the closest shelf.

"You've got books in French and Latin."

"You seem surprised. Oh I also have some in German, Italian, and Dutch, some Greek too."

"This is amazing! You even have the German philosophers; some of those are hard to follow."

"They are, but not as bad as some of the Dutch ones; I'm beginning to think they all went mental."

"I've never tried the Dutch or the Italian. I've been working though the French at the moment and I already finished what I could of the Latin, Greek and German."

"Oh really... you seem to hold a lot of faith in the past and in books."

"I'm not one that holds much integrity in faith, other than monogamy but that's a little different. After all 'faith is not wanting to know what is true.'"

"Friedrich Nietzsche, impressive. How do you take your tea?"

"Black, so is this why everyone thinks you're a hermit? You're reading instead of frying your brain cells conversing with others?"

"Yes, this is the main reason I guess. That and my research and potion brewing is very time consuming."

"True, what are you working on right now?"

"A cure for the after effects of the Cruciatus curse... I feel it's only right that this is what I work on when so many were affected by it during the war." Severus told her while handing her the tea.

"You know nobody blames you for anything... well I don't anyways and the ones who do are all douche bags."

"Thank you for that, even though it is unnecessary."

"How is your neck these days? Does it still hurt to swallow or speak?"

"I'm surprised you even mentioned it, not many do. They all seem to think those of us who were intensely injured don't want to talk about it ever again and think that because the war is over the injuries disappeared."

"You still haven't answered my question, nice evasion though. I'm a fan of evasion by bell; I avoid people until just before the bell and sneak away with the students."

"My neck is fine, even if it is none of your business."

"It's all my business; you're my best and only friend now."

"Does that have anything to do with my books?"

"Nothing at all, why do you ask?"

"I'm not your friend, you're lucky I'm even talking to you when I could just as easily ignore you."

"Fine then, just remember that leaves you with the dunderheads to debate with."

"Same to you."

"Yes, but I lasted with Harry and Ronald for 7 years."

"Touché."

"I need to go, I have some work to do for Flitwick, but I'll be back some time in the next week."

"I agreed to one tea, nothing more."

"You agreed to an acquaintance, plus you love my company." Hermione told him while walking out of the room.

"What did I get myself into?" Severus asked the empty room.

As the months passed Hermione and Severus had tea almost daily, they had a sort of friendship where one wanted it and the other just accepted it because they had no other choice. Christmas came and went and they celebrated it together as neither had anyone else. They didn't exchange presents but they did get very drunk and toast to the dunderheads of futures past. It was now two weeks into the New Year and classes had started again.

"You know, you would think the fourth years could all spell charms correctly. Apparently that's too much to ask though." Hermione commented, Flitwick was surprised at just how much she sounded like Severus nowadays. He of course knew that she met him for tea every so often but this was ridiculous. As the weeks passed Hermione grew more and more similar to Severus, for which he considered his greatest achievement. The other teachers thought she'd been cursed and had questioned Severus repeatedly, much to his annoyance.

One day early in February Hermione received a letter and promptly ran out of the hall. Many of the professors went to follow her but Severus glared at them all, knowing she just wanted time alone. The next day, when Hermione was still nowhere to be seen, Severus went to her chambers for the first time. After knocking for a solid three minutes he got bored and started guessing passwords. He finally guessed it correctly on the 32nd try. Her password was _The Sevster_ , the nickname she tried to give him and he refused to let her use.

"Hermione I thought I told you I never wanted to hear the name _The Sevster_ again!" He yelled when he walked in. She came out of her bedroom with puffy eyes and her pajamas on.

"You weren't going to hear it; you're the one who broke into my rooms."

"What's going on with you, what was the letter about?"

"Why do you care?"

"You've rubbed off on me, just as I have you."

"Fine, my ex friends asked me to act like we're still close at the one year anniversary ball in May so they can get the publicity and a possible promotion. Apparently we're all set up to receive the Order of Merlin First Class."

"Okay the first part I understand why you're angry or sad, but why so bitter about the award?"

"That's the thing! Only us three and the other order members who fought on the front lines are getting one!"

"Okay, I'm not going to pretend to understand how that's really a problem."

"Simple, neither you nor Regulus Black are getting one! Without you we never would have won the war and he turned against his lord and died for it."

"I don't care about a stupid award and neither would Regulus, he was a good friend of mine. We Slytherins live our lives in the shadows as much as possible and are content to not even go to these balls, which makes it a good thing that I didn't get invited nor am receiving the award. Now I'm not letting you miss another day because if I do the others might try and send me here thinking we're friends."

"We are friends Sevster."

"I will consider being your friend if you never call me that name again and change your password."

"Fine I will change my password."

"And never call me that again?"

"No promises, unless I can call you a different nickname; oh like Sev or Susan!"

"You are not calling me Susan!"

"Ok Sev, I won't call you Susan."

"Fine, you can call me Sev or the Sevster, as long as nobody **ever** hears you."

"I think you're going soft."

"You're rubbing off on me."

"Good, I've finally touched you cold, sculpted heart. Now it's soft as satin and will stay that way!"

"Never say that again or I will never speak to you again."

"Speaking of which, why are you talking to me?"

"Because you locked yourself in your rooms and people were getting worried."

"Even you?"

"No."

"Then why was it so easy to convince you to consider me your friend, normally you would say 'over your dead body', the dead body being mine."

"Simple, the most special are the loneliest and have the most interesting stories. It's like the books that nobody touches because it's torn and dirty, that one was obviously loved."

"So you think I'm special?"

"Go get ready for the day and go to Flitwick. I have class in five minutes." Severus left a laughing Hermione in her rooms and went to terrify the second years with his demeanor. Time passed quickly and the students and teachers alike could see that Severus and Hermione had some kind of truce or arrangement by the way they talked during dinner. Severus made Hermione laugh, much to everyone's surprise as nobody thought he could mutter a funny thing. Hermione made Severus smirk which was as close to a smile as anybody had ever seen, well except when it was an evil smirk that they shared. They had conversations in the staff room that others tried to join only to realize they couldn't keep up with their logic or make viable contributions to. The two brilliant minds were too quick for all the other staff members and could create a debate so fierce over something as simple as a quote from a German philosopher. They were in one such debate when they were sitting for dinner, only a little more mild compared to the ones in the staff room. It started as a simple conversation at the beginning but quickly turned. All the professors watched and so did a few of the students that were close enough to hear.

"All I'm saying is that maybe he was right when he said that Gods second mistake was woman." Severus stated

"Yeah and what if he was implying that the first mistake was man?"

"It wasn't, it was evil, it had to be."

"Maybe evil was his greatest invention."

"How do you figure that?" Severus looked perturbed

"Simple, without evil, good wouldn't exist. Without good and evil nobody would have much reason to follow or pursue religion."

"You think God created evil to make himself look better?"

"It would make sense; I mean that whole 'my word is law' thing just screams self absorbed."

"Well then... I don't know what to even say to such a statement."

"I do, Friedrich was a genius and God was self absorbed you Hermione Jean Granger are right. You're always right and you always _will_ be right."

"Never will you hear me say that."

"Why, is it because that would mean admitting your wrong? I'm right aren't I?" Hermione smirked at him as he glared.

"You have your beliefs and I have mine."

"That's another quote I don't agree with."

"What quote? All I said was that we had different opinions."

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

"Okay, why does that not surprise me, the control freak thinks there is only one way to do something."

"Not true, some things can be done different ways but the right way does exist! In potions some things can only be done one way or it will be ruined or kill the brewer or user."

"Maybe that's true but in a way it's not. Think of charms, the patronus can be done multiple ways."

"How so?"

"Verbal, non verbal, and wandless just to name a few."

"But the method is still the same, you need to think happy to get the charm."

"That's not the point, that's a function not the method."

"They're the same thing!"

"They are not, otherwise my patronus would not have worked after my wand got broken."

"Yes but you weren't against an enemy."

"I was against an enemy."

"What?"

"Myself of course! I was bleeding to death and had to battle my own wits to create the patronus." Hermione opened and closed her mouth a few times and Severus raised an eyebrow. Eventually she just glared at him and he smirked in victory. "The worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself; you lie in wait for yourself in caverns and forests."

"I don't know, I can think of some things equally as dangerous as yourself."

"What's that?"

"Bad memories, friends, and snakes." Severus glared at her and muttered something nobody else could hear, except Hermione who burst out laughing. She rose from her seat and left the hall in hysterics as Severus watched with a tilted head and a pensive expression. He smirked and rose to follow her smirking all the way.

The end of April came far too fast for everyone and Hermione found herself being stared down by her best and only friend. Not that she didn't ask for it of course, she always asked for it.

"I'm sorry come again?" Severus asked

"I need you to come with me to the one year anniversary ball next week." He looked at her like she was crazy, and many thought she truly was. She had brought this up in the great hall during breakfast. As if everybody could hear her the entire hall went silent, that probably had to do with Severus spitting out the sip of tea he had taken just before she'd asked. Everyone was watching them now, not that either cared or noticed.

"Why on earth would I do that?" He asked in a deadly voice

"I want to make an entrance and a point. Oh, and if you could teach me that thing you do with your robes as well that would be great."

"I'm not going to that stupid ball just so you can fulfill your dramatic flair for the month."

"Fine, do you know where I can find a good smoke screen spell?"

"What is wrong with you?"

"A lot, I think its brain damage from my torture, do you have any theories?"

"Many, but seriously, would you just tone it down a bit."

"Nope, I like being loud in many aspects of my life."

"Remind me again why I put up with you?"

"Because you think I'm special."

"I think the one time I said that I was drunk and it was in a different context than you remember it."

"Well I take what I can get."

"Which is apparently not a date to the ball if you're asking me."

"Oh no, I could get a date of I wanted, but I have a plan and I need you to come to the ball in order to do it. The only way you can come is if you are my escort, thus me asking you."

"You didn't ask me, you told me you needed me to go with you."

"Good point... Severus you're coming with me to the ball. There now I told you."

"I still haven't heard you ask me."

"And you aren't going to because you'll just say no."

"Exactly so why are you still asking!"

"I need someone who will anger the most people, and you will anger everyone even if you don't try. Especially Ron and Harry because they hate you; plus the ministry because they can't send you to Azkaban for being disliked by many and being rude."

"I'm not going to that ball, it would mean dressing up and I don't want to, nor do I have the clothing for it."

"It's okay I got yours when I got my gown."

"So sure I'd say yes were you?"

"Oh, I still know you will."

"I highly doubt that."

"I have my ways, decidedly Slytherin methods, but methods all the same."

"That's one big proclamation, but can you live up to it?"

"I will help you with your research for the potion we talked about and help you with your brewing."

"How do I know you won't just mess it up?"

"Because you begrudgingly gave me an O in your course because I'm perfect and you even mentioned you wouldn't mind taking an apprentice if it was me."

"I regret ever getting drunk with you."

"I won't tell anyone about that thing if you agree, and I also won't tell everyone all three nicknames I've forced upon you."

"Three, there were two."

"No there were three, think back to when the second was born." Severus' face grew pensive before his eyes widened and twitched.

"Never."

"Never what?"

"You will never mention any of those nicknames, or that other thing."

"Your right, I won't, as long as you come to the ball with me."

"Fine." He growled, Hermione smiled and stood up.

"Great, I will bring the dress robes to your chambers and leave them on the couch, gotta go now!" she told him before skipping out of the great hall humming and leaving a fuming Severus behind. Students, realizing class would start soon, started to run from the great hall and the teachers followed. The general questions on everyone's minds were: when did Hermione and Severus get drunk together? And what was Severus hiding that Hermione blackmailed him with? Nobody would ever know though because Hermione always kept her word.

May second came around and many students were wondering the halls in hopes of seeing some of their professors dressed up for a ball, Severus especially. After all, everyone knew Hermione had picked his dress robes. All the professors who were going to the ball were meeting in the entrance hall and students watched from a far as they began arriving. Severus and Hermione were the only two not there yet and the other professors were waiting patiently for them to arrive, knowing how long it would take to convince Severus to go.

"Where is the insufferable know it all?" They heard a voice drawl from behind them. Everyone looked to see Severus Snape, bat of the dungeons, in a solid black suit with a white tie. His hair was tied back and he looked surprisingly dapper in his suit.

"She's not here yet. Is that what Hermione picked for you to wear?"

"Yes, why?"

"No reason I just didn't expect that, I guess her dress will be white then."

"Nope, not white, that could turn into a disaster, am I right Severus?"

"Indeed you are." Severus told her as she walked down the steps. He had already seen her all dressed up before going to change himself and was surprised he arrived first. "I see you got your first dramatic entrance of the night."

"I plan on getting at least two more; one when we apparate for the reporters and one when we enter the hall." She smiled before jumping down a few steps and grabbing his arm. He rolled his eyes and sighed, but seemed oddly resigned. Hermione was wearing a Slytherin green knee length dress with a black belt around the end of the bodice just before the bottom flared. The dress had a sweetheart neckline with lace covering the entire dress over top of the satin layer. The lace continued past the satins neckline and went up to make a turtle neck and long sleeves in just the lace. She had on a pair of white 2 inch peep-toe heels and blood red lipstick. Her hair was in a ponytail with her bangs left out and her whole head had big ringlet curls. She looked at Severus and smiled.

"Ready to go give some old farts a heart attack? I know I am." He smirked again and nodded.

"Did you finish your speech for when you accept you award?"

"No I think I might just wing it, or maybe I won't accept it."

"What? You need to accept it, it's the most prestigious award you could get!" McGonagall interrupted.

"The only award I would want is for all the fallen soldiers to come back to life."

"But that's impossible!"

"Then so is me gratefully accepting the award. God I pity the violins right now." Severus snorted and everyone else looked lost. The group of ball goers left the hall and walked to the gates of Hogwarts where they would apparate to the ministry halls, just outside of the ball room. Hermione and Severus were the last standing there and they paused before they left.

"Violins huh?"

"Sometimes I feel like I'm in a glass coffin on display. I keep coughing because I'm suffocating but nobody helps because they're too busy marveling at me to realize it's not what I want the most. They see me as something to behold when I'm just a person like everyone else. People are like musicians, they're too busy marveling in the attention that they've forgotten how to sing." Severus nodded knowing what she was speaking of but never experiencing it himself. They apparated away and Hermione got her second dramatic entrance of the night.

Cameras flashed left and right and questions fired at an inhuman rate. The pair just powered through the crowd and went inside the ball room. Things went silent the second they stepped in and they ignored all the looks in favor of the bar. As both were waiting for their drinks people had stopped staring and went on with their business, with more gossip than before. Just as their drinks arrived four more people did as well. Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Lavender Brown showed up next to Hermione with Glares on their faces.

"Hermione what are you doing here with him!" Harry whisper yelled.

"The same as you are with her!" Hermione told him in the same tone before smirking.

"What are you wearing?" Lavender asked

"I could ask you the same." Hermione told her disdainfully looking at her lavender dress that was far too tight and far too short.

"Why him, anyone would've been better, this is just embarrassing."

"For who, you or me?"

"You!"

"Sorry but your wrong, Severus is my friend and I wanted him here, thus here he is."

"Hermione you were meant to come alone if you couldn't find anyone. We could've set you up with someone when you got here." Ginny told her

"And you were supposed to wear a dress that doesn't make you look like a hooker. Guess we both made a mistake on social etiquette." Severus snorted quietly while sipping his drink.

"Look, just try to stay out of the spotlight as much as possible and keep him away from the other guests or you'll scare them."

"He is not my dog and I will do no such thing! Now get away from me and leave me alone." The four left her shaking their heads and sending her pitying looks.

"Five gallons says they go for the mind healers first."

"I won't take a bet I know I will lose. Besides they're already there." They both smirked and turned back to the bartender to talk to the man they would be hanging out with the rest of the night. A few hours later and the award ceremony began when Kingsley, the current minister, took the stage.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I would like to welcome you all here tonight. This is a celebration of our defeat over Voldemort a truly despicable man with sick followers who terrorized us all for decades. Tonight we will honor those survivors who went above and beyond the call of duty to overthrow this evil man. So without further ado I would like to present the first Order of Merlin First Classes to..." Kingsley went on to name many names from the Order who survived and died for the cause, minus Severus. After many awards were given it was time for the final three. Hermione had asked to go last and they had decided to honor her request, thankfully, she wanted a big impact.

"For our final three recipients each will be giving a small speech and we will be naming them singularly as they were the biggest players in Voldemort's downfall. First we have Harry James Potter!" Harry took the stage and accepted his award before approaching the podium.

"I would just like to thank everyone and remind you all that even if we won we paid a great price. All those who died in the war are just as, and maybe even more, deserving of this award than I am. Thank you to all of you and I couldn't have done this without you all!" Harry left the stage and Kingsley took the podium again to announce Ron, who did the same as Harry only with a much stupider but relatively the same speech. They were clearly both enjoying the publicity and Hermione was disgusted. Hermione was then called to the stage and she changed things up. She took the award with mild distaste before she put the certificate on the floor next to where she stood in front of the podium, she levitated the medal in the air and held it beside her.

"First I would just like to say that I am so..." Everyone smiled at her and she frowned. "Disgusted with everyone here voluntarily. This day one year ago was a mass genocide and all you people seem to care about is the fact that we managed to kill one man! I honestly pity the violins right now. As most of you are rich pencil pushers you won't know what that means so allow me to explain. Violins are put on a pedestal to be marveled at and as a result they age and decay without playing beautiful music anymore.

"You people are doing the same thing to me and many others, you marvel at people who are actually very weak! Most of the survivors of war in here made it through the war without much injury because they played it safe and fought with their backs against the wall against the opposing side's wimps, while those who died did so fight 20 opponents and killing 10 before going down. Harry is not the savior of the wizarding world because he wasn't even old enough to walk when he went against Voldemort the first time! He never had much to fear of for so many years because he knew Voldemort wanted to kill him, he could prepare! One person though went through much worse. He played spy for 20 years to two people who could read his mind, one slip and he would be killed, but just the right sentence and he would move up in the ranks for a man who preaches things he doesn't believe are true.

"You all seem to forget the man who almost died all alone and gave the Order so much over the years. This peace we experience now would be nonexistent without him. However he stands there without an award or any recognition other than a trial to see if he should go to Azkaban for nothing and no plans to ever receive any because you are all far to prejudice. You call yourselves the light side when all you do is see what you want to see and pick your own battles while someone else bleeds to death on the floor in the shrieking shack by the hands of Voldemort's snake. A tragic death in and of itself but all alone is even worse. You call yourselves the good side when all you care about is good publicity and you don't care who you step on to get that, even if it's a good man.

"These are just a few of the reasons why I will not be accepting my Order of Merlin First Class, but awarding it to another. I will be awarding my Order of Merlin First class to the one and only Severus Snape spy for the light for 20 years and savior of the wizarding world. Thank you and goodnight." Hermione spoke; everyone was shocked silent, even Severus, as she floated the medal over to Severus and changed the name on the certificate before doing the same. He took both things and she walked over to him before grabbing his arm and dragging him from the silent hall.

"Well now I know why you were so insistent." He said once they were back at the gates of Hogwarts.

"Why yes Sev, now you know what my plan was."

"You truly are mental, I really need to finish that potion."

"Oh darn! I knew I forgot something! I forgot to mention your invaluable work in the potions field that have saved many lives and helped so many more."

"You like to enhance things don't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She smirked as they reached the doors to the castle.

"Thank you Hermione, you're amazing." He told her before opening the door for her.

"I've been telling you that for months, it's about time you listened." He chuckled and left for the dungeons after leaving a kiss on her cheek. She put her fingers to the spot he kissed her and smiled before turning and going to her own chambers.

The next morning everyone was in the great hall and many of the students, and a few faculty members, noticed the way the people who went to the ball the night before were sitting as far as possible from Hermione and Severus. Nobody knew why this was until the daily prophet arrived and Hermione's speech from the night before was the front page story. Severus was mentioned to have cursed her or traded sex so he would get the recognition he didn't deserve. Harry and Ron had commented saying they were thinking of getting her tested by some professionals. Many other wizards commented in the negative to Hermione and she figured even if they agreed with her it wouldn't be printed.

The two read the article calmly before rising together and leaving the great hall in favor of Severus' rooms. When they arrived Hermione sat on the couch and Severus brought some tea over for them both. They sat and drank their tea in silence both silently fuming, before Hermione spoke.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what, you didn't do anything?"

"I tried to get justice for you because I think you deserve recognition and all it got you was you getting called an evil prostitute who curses people to get what he wants." To her surprise Severus laughed. It was the first time she'd actually heard him laugh and she was surprised to say the least.

"Hermione, I don't give a shit about what people think of me. I know why you did what you did, and I'm worried about you at the moment. Potter and Weasley are probably on their way here to bring you in for testing! Plus, what they were saying about you was far worse than anything they said about me."

"That's true, I'm just so tired of all this. Harry and Ron both like the fame and all I want to do is hide, run and hide from all this and from everyone who knows me."

"Why don't you run? Light out of here, get away from it all! God knows I want to."

"I was going to. Right after Ronald cheated on me, but then I realized you were just as lonely as I was and how fun it was to make everyone think I was depressed."

"Well if I'm the only thing that's holding you here why don't we run away together?"

"Leave and forget this life?"

"First there's lights out, then there's lock up. It's the kind of plan I can get behind."

"Runaway, then lock all memories of here in the deepest recesses of our minds. I'm in, when do we leave?" they sat in silence for a while before Severus rose and grabbed two books; one was an atlas and the other an adventure novel that Hermione had been reading every time she was in his rooms for an extended period of time and didn't feel overly talkative.

"Are you sure you really want to do this? If you are we can leave on the last day of classes or after the staff dinner."

"I'm sure, now you list some places and I will turn them down until you get one I want. The only problem is where do we get all the money? I have some, but not much and all I will have in the end is a charms mastership."

"I can open an apothecary when we get to wherever we go and I have plenty of money from my potions that I create, I still get royalties in them. I'm rich and was only teaching because nobody buys from a death eater in London and I have no clue where to move to."

"Wow, I can work with you and live with you that way I can pay you back and not be homeless."

"I would have it no other way... I have a few good places we could go but I need to verify some names first, so why don't you read this and I will check on that?" Hermione nodded and began reading while Severus looked through his atlas for certain pages.

"You know sometimes I wonder about books. Some characters are masterpieces in the way of life. They're masterpieces serving maximum sentences in these pages because the author dictated it so."

"You should write a book with all these philosophies and opinions you come up with. Explain the meaning of life."

"42, it's already been done, but writing a book would be a good idea for me. So you don't think some authors are just cruel when writing such perfect characters only for them to spend eternity in the pages of a book like animals in a cage?"

"It's their own fault for being timeless."

"Rude and cruel Sev."

"I have some good possibilities if you want to shut up and listen. People in these places won't care about my past of being a death eater."

"Tell me, oh wise one."

"That's you insufferable know it all." He ducked when she threw a pillow at him and it hit the wall behind his head. "So we have: Athens Greece, Nice France, Cologne Germany, and Brisbane Australia. Where do you think is the best."

"Those are awfully specific places for someone who just looked in an atlas."

"It's the Prince family atlas, complete with all the houses and properties belonging to the Prince family and the locations and ward key phrases."

"Wow, you have four properties?!"

"Eight actually; those four plus one in each Scotland, Ireland, Bulgaria, and Spinners End."

"Let's move to Australia or Germany."

"Australia, Germany isn't my favorite place but the one in Brisbane is amazing." Hermione rolled her eyes but nodded in acceptance.

"Minerva and Filius won't be happy; they wanted you to take the job of Charms professor for the first to third years next year."

"I don't really want to teach, I would prefer research of some kind, maybe in Australia, and I've always wanted to go there." She smirked and Severus smiled at her.

"I'm going to use that brilliant mind of yours for my own personal gain and there is nothing you can do about it." The two sat in Severus' chamber for hours until after dinner. They read and ate in his rooms not leaving because they didn't want to face the real world. Eventually though, Hermione had to leave for her own rooms and Severus told her he would walk her up to her rooms as he was to do rounds that night anyways. Just as they reached Hermione's chambers they noticed two figures standing outside of it, Harry and Ronald.

"Hermione, we need to talk to you." Harry told her.

"And I need to get some sleep, I have work tomorrow."

"We got you the day off." Ron told her

"Why would you do that?"

"Because we need to talk." They chorused.

"I think they mean to say that there's a price to pay, and a consequence for disregarding their orders for last night and they're here to collect." Severus explained.

"And what price would they wish for, and what would they have my consequence be for not contracting sheep syndrome?"

"My guess would be an explanation and you getting tested and locked up for a time in St. Mungos regardless of the results."

"Well if they think I'm doing either they are much more delusional than they should be."

"You know we're standing right here and we can hear you?" Ron asked

"Yes, we are aware, because unlike you two our brains are bigger than a pea." Severus insulted before casting a mufflito so Hermione could say her password and enter her rooms. She did so and Severus left for his rounds leaving to very annoyed boys in the hallway outside Hermione's chambers.

A week later Hermione and Severus were in his rooms talking about their move again and they discussed the ways in which they could announce their departure.

"We could just resign." Severus pointed out

" _Or_ we could put up an ad in the daily prophet selling your house!"

"Or we could not and just tell someone very gossipy."

"If we do that we need to wait until the last day of school and then disappear before anyone can stop us!"

"You are in a really excited and vindictive mood at the moment."

"Think about it, we need to make multiple apparition stops on the way and we could stop in each city and look at a few things. Think of all the galleries, the museums!"

"We will be stopping in New York on the wizard side."

"Why?"

"I have something planned."

"What?" he sighed and went to his bedroom only to return moments later with a slip of paper.

"Here's your ticket for welcome to the tombs."

"Welcome to the tombs? As in the wizarding tour of the tombs of some of the greatest wizards ever?"

"Yup, the wizarding side of New York offers a tour through the original sets and I thought it might be interesting."

"Awesome! I'm so excited! You are amazing Sev!"

"They're just public mausoleums. I don't get why you're this excited."

"You should know me well enough to know that I get over excited about things like this!" she pouted and he chuckled and rolled his eyes while nodding.

"True, I should."

"I have to go; I have some essays to mark for Flitwick." She got up and was almost to the door when she turned and ran back over to him. She stood on her toes and gave him a short and sweet kiss on the lips. Then she turned and ran from the room for her own chambers. Severus stood stock still for a few moments before he snapped out of it and sat on the couch to think.

Neither mentioned the kiss the next day and neither had any plans on doing so either. They went about their business and continued to teach or aid in the teaching of the students while preparing the fifth and seventh years for their exams. The weeks passed and soon the exams were all over. The last day of school was only four days away now and the two of them were in Severus' rooms talking about their apparition destinations. When they finally agreed on several they began talking about the way exams went that year.

"It was like the living dead filled every room. It scared me a little."

"It always scares me because I'm reminded that these idiots are our only future and right now their brains are under developed and they're all complete morons with an exception every ten years or so."

"Agreed. I wonder if I can worry the teachers with my painting musings one last time before we leave. We have another four days, I think I could do it."

"Don't bother they aren't worth the energy."

"That's just mean, but your right."

The day the students left Hermione and Severus were forced to attend the end of year staff meeting and celebration on Hermione getting her masters in charms. Everything was going great until all the teachers turned on them. For the final feast between the teachers they sat at a round table meaning everyone was able to see and talk to one another. Normally this was fine except when they all team up on one, or in this case, two people.

"So Hermione, can you explain just how and why you and Severus became friends? I fear he's had a negative impact on you" Pomona Sprout asked

"He was lonely and so was I."

"Well we could have solved that." Madam Pomfrey commented.

"She means that in a different way than you understand. We are both of the opinion that we would be interesting to one another because of the way we lived our lives."

"I don't understand."

"It's very simple, we may have been lonely and to others that seemed boring but..." Severus started.

"But the most special are the most lonely, in our opinion anyways." Hermione finished.

"What was that comment you made about Violins when you all left for the ball about?" Sprout asked as she hadn't heard most of the explanation.

"The comment was God I pity the violins. It wasn't the whole comment though only part of it."

"What was the rest?"

"In glass coffins they keep coughing, they've forgotten how to sing." Severus answered "She finished it before we apparated."

"What's that mean?" Professor Vector asked

"Well violins are put on pedestals to be marveled at and they decay and grow old never doing what they're meant to and playing beautiful music. The glass coffin represents the kind of thing we put paintings in to keep them safe in museums in the muggle world. They're airtight and see through so people can look at the artwork without damaging them. It sucks the air out. So in glass coffins they keep coughing, means something along the lines of being suffocated from all the attention you get when you can do very little about it."

"They've forgotten how to sing refers to muggle musicians. They get all this publicity and they bask in it, then when they go to perform they are terrible singers because they haven't practice and essentially forget how to sing. It's all very sad that it applies to Hermione's old friends." Everyone went silent for a few moments before they spoke again.

"How does that apply to them?"

"They enjoy the publicity so much that if a sixth year was to challenge them they probably wouldn't do any better than a sloppy loss. You see them in gold frames because you were told they saved the world from evil when all they did was kill a murderous man who anybody could've finished off at that point."

"But you don't see that part, so they will stay in their gold frames for forever."

"Forever and a day. Maybe they can join the other paintings in their changing of dimensions and time."

"They can take the rowboats on the fourth floor painting. But with so many like them all the rowboats in the oil paintings will be gone."

"Once the truth comes out they will keep trying to row away, but they won't get very far." Severus nodded and stood to pull out Hermione's chair. He placed a letter on the table, nodded once, and left the room. He and Hermione went to their separate chambers before meeting in the entrance hall, seemingly empty handed.

The two walked down the path in the front of the castle they'd both spent so much time in. They walked to the gates before Severus asked Hermione one more time if she was sure she wanted to leave.

"I want to remember 'first there's light out, then there's lock up' we both agreed and I'm not going back on that now."

"You mind really is a masterpiece."

"It's serving a maximum sentence with you in Brisbane as long as you don't run from me Sev."

"Never, I don't run from people, they run from me."

"I can't help but feel guilty about leaving Harry and Ron with no explanation. I mean it's their own fault for being timeless, but still."

"How are they timeless?"

"Simple, they believe themselves great when they aren't. They're just like characters in stories, they have faults so generic but otherwise their lives are just perfect and full of coincidences. The fact that their faults are so generic is part of the reason why it hurts the way it does I guess. When something is this generic it should be avoidable."

"True, but then again, this leads to the fact that every action has follow ups. There's a price to pay, and a consequence. The price is losing you and the consequence is having to explain why you left and risk the truth coming out if you ever come back." Hermione smiled and kissed the man she had slowly been falling for this past year. After getting over his surprise he kissed her back and when they parted he smirked and apparated them to their first point on the way to their new lives.

After a few days of travel and all the galleries, the museums, and other random stops Hermione forced upon Severus the two finally got to the Prince property in Brisbane Australia where their new life would begin. They would stay there forever and a day if they could help it. They would never again think of all the rowboats in the oil paintings at Hogwarts. The two of them had rowed away in a sense. They rowed away all the way to Australia and were free to be themselves, together. They opened an apothecary and made new potions that they patented and sold under false names. They researched and released journals under aliases and nobody from their old life came to bother them for a long time.

Five years passed and the two were happily engaged when a letter came for them from one Minerva McGonagall. She requested to come over to tea to discuss some things. Minerva had kept in touch, sending letters wherever she had the chance and the two always responded since she admitted they were right in her first letter delivered only one month after they arrived in Brisbane. This letter was strange though as she'd never even hinted at wanting to know where they were staying, she understood their move. They decided to meet her even if it meant they had to move again the day after she left. They sent off a letter in the affirmative and began planning for a tea exactly one week from that day and 5 years to the day that they had left London.

"So you two have been hiding out in Australia all this time?" Was the first thing they heard when McGonagall arrived.

"Yeah, we opened an apothecary and have been publishing and creating potions and the like for the past five years." Severus answered.

"Then we got engaged and now here we are, so what's new?" Hermione asked

"You two got engaged! Well congratulations."

"Thank you, why are you here?" Severus tried again as they started on their tea.

"So when did that happen and when is the wedding?"

"I asked a few weeks ago and we are discussing going to the ministry to marry, why are you here again?"

"Sev, stop being rude." Hermione admonished

"She didn't come all the way from London for tea, she has an agenda and I want to know if I should leave before she tries to suck me into it."

"He is right Hermione, as much as I do enjoy seeing you again I did come here with a purpose."

"Well I'm going to the lab; let me know if you need me." Severus went to stand but Hermione was faster and sat on his lap so he couldn't leave without her.

"Explain please." Hermione asked.

"I am, as of now, retiring. Unfortunately the ministry won't let me until I have found myself a suitable replacement. Filius is in the same boat as me, as well as our current potions master."

"I told you she was going to suck us into her plans and agenda. Charms is you, potions is us both... she definitely wants something." Severus narrowed his eyes and McGonagall chuckled.

"I do want something. I want you two to come back to Hogwarts."

"Excuse me?" they chorused.

"I want Hermione to take over as charms professor and teach years one to four in potions. I want Severus to teach year's five to seven in potions and take over as headmaster." She told them like she was talking about the weather.

"What!"

"Oh Severus don't look so surprised, you were a wonderful professor and it's not that much work, I taught Transfiguration until now on top of my duties as headmistress. And Hermione you would make a wonderful professor and you could teach however you want as Severus will be your boss and he can't say no to you. Plus you will be the youngest professor at the moment and Severus the youngest Headmaster in the last century. So will you do it? You don't need to hire anyone for this coming year as I've already taken care of that and you two were my last stop."

"Well, I do miss Hogwarts... maybe it wouldn't be terrible to go back and teach. Well, now that I can teach however I like."

"Not however you would like, I would have to approve it and you wouldn't leave me here unless I agreed to come with you."

"You will; it's a great opportunity and would be great for us. You don't have to stay as headmaster until you retire, just for a year, just for now. Minerva is getting old and shouldn't push herself to much; she might keel over during dinner one day and scar many a student for life." Hermione smirked, McGonagall looked mildly insulted but Severus laughed and finally agreed.

"Fine, but later I want to know the exact reason why you are so interested in this job."

"Oh this is great, here you two are." She produced two contracts and they both signed. The three continued to talk for another few hours before Minerva left to file some paperwork involving her retirement and their new jobs.

"So why so insistent about going back to London, I know it's not for the job seeing as you once told me you didn't want to teach." Severus asked her the next morning over breakfast.

"Teaching is a safe profession; safer than creating and working on experimental potions anyways."

"Why does that matter all of a sudden? It never bothered you before."

"Well... you know how some potion fumes can be toxic for expecting mothers?"

"Yes, but what does that have to... do with... anything? You're not... are you?"

"Well I might be giving you a very time consuming birthday present..."

"You're pregnant?"

"Yup, due early January according to my calculations, you're not mad are you?"

"Mad? Of course not! So you're what, one month along?"

"Yeah, I wasn't going to tell you until next month, but I guess now's as good a time as any."

"So that's why you want to move back?"

"That and I would like my child to go to Hogwarts when they turn eleven."

"Sounds like a plan..."

"Sev, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yup..."

"Sev?" he didn't answer "Severus?" again no answer "Sevster?" he didn't answer so she went for the kill. "Susan?"

"I thought I told you to never call me Sevster or Susan."

"But you love me and can't deny me anything because I'm pregnant with your child and you are now forever in my debt."

"So now would be a bad time to tell you that I promised my first born to the devil huh?"

"A little, I can convince him he got confused and that it wasn't you that promised the baby but your evil twin brother, Sevster."

"I have no doubts you could Hermione. You could convince a nun that the Devil was better than God."

"Challenge accepted."

"That wasn't a challenge. Don't actually try that."

"Too late I have a plan."

"Hermione!"

"Yes Susan?"

Severus and Hermione got married two weeks later before going back to Hogwarts. Hermione had a beautiful baby boy on January 5th, only three days before her husband's birthday, and they named him Jeremiah Sylvester Snape because Severus wouldn't let Hermione have his middle name be Sevster and it was the closest thing to it she could convince him of. Two years later they had a baby girl named Julia Hermes Snape after Hermione's most hated nickname. Jeremiah was sorted into Ravenclaw and Julia followed two years later. They completed their schooling under the watchful eyes of Headmaster Snape and Professor Snape. Julia apprenticed under Neville in Herbology and Jeremiah under Professor Vector.

Severus Snape remained Headmaster for 13 years after his daughter graduated and Hermione retired before he did. They died within two weeks of each other at the ages of 168 and 138 only survived by their two children, 5 grandchildren, and 15 great grandchildren.

They had happy and long lives and Severus eventually gave up and let Hermione call him The Sevster. Hermione finally got her wish and was able to travel through time and dimensions in the paintings of Hogwarts, dragging her very annoyed husband behind her and making friends with every portrait, whether they were willing or not.


End file.
